Saturday, August 24, 2013

Top 20 signs you’ve been living in Sudan too long …

I recently returned to Europe for a five-week break during the summer holidays. Quite a few faux paus later, I realised just Sudan-ised I'd become in the last 10 months. Whallaiiiii!!!!! (note: some points may have been slightly exaggerated)
  • You annoy all your friends by turning up two hours late for EVERYTHING
  • You keep shouting into your mobile phone even though the connection is good
  • You greet everyone with “keyf, tamaam?” (how are you? Fine?) and become slightly confused  when no-one understands
  • You outrage shopkeepers by trying to negotiate the price
  • Nightclub patrons look at you strangely when you start clicking your fingers at them to encourage their dancing
  • You still can’t bring yourself to wear a halter-neck top
  • You arrive at friends' houses and promptly fall asleep on the nearest bed/couch
  • You still prefer to eat with your hand even at posh dinner parties
  • You pre-fix every sentence with “wallai….” (literally: “I swear to God” or “really?”)
  • You now prefer tea over beer/wine/vodka etc.
  • You keep boring friends with conversations starters like “When I was in Sudan…”
  • You keep wondering why no-one is noticing your existence anymore, in fact you’re even slightly disappointed when the marriage offers dry up
  • You constantly laugh out loud at your own jokes and then attempt to shake people's hands afterwards
  • You horrify everyone when you suggest making pasta sauce with peanut butter
  • You're confused when the bus doesn't stop no matter how loud you click your fingers
  • You half consider paying for the coffees and metro fares of random strangers
  • You constantly wander in to your neighbour's house for a friendly chat without calling ahead first
  • People think you're being aggressive when you greet them by whacking them on the shoulder
  • You keep interrogating random people about their marital status
  • After awhile, you even start missing fuul a bit
Taking my rest ... in every moment





23 comments:

  1. Exactly! I had the same effect in nightclubs, but this is my favourite:
    "You constantly laugh out loud at your own jokes and then attempt to shake people's hands afterwards"
    Cheerio, Roman

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    1. Yes, I have to say people were quite confused by my constant hand shaking. Quite awkward ;)

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  2. HAHAHA!
    you are an undercover sudanese!

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    1. Hahaha ... don't tell anyone ;) Thanks for reading!

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  3. I loved your blog a LOT, it always confused me, that foreigners seem to enjoy the country more than the natives. Maybe it is the expat hard currency salaries :)

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    1. Ya Sami,
      thanks for reading. Well, I'm far from getting any actual hard currency salary, but maybe it's the red carpet treatment we get. Sudanese people are so welcoming, I always find myself feeling a bit unworthy of all the attention :)

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  4. am Sudanese , OMG u made me laughed so hard lol
    that is so true
    u r officially Sudanese now

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  5. "You're confused when the bus doesn't stop no matter how loud you click your fingers" ...
    So funny :D

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  6. People in my office wonder why I can't stop laughing. Thanks!.... I'm sharing this with everyone I know.too funny

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    1. Glad I could give you a laugh in the office. Thanks for sharing! :)

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  7. I couldn't stop laughing at the peanut butter part!!! that's so true...
    Very interesting blog, despite the fact it made me quite homesick!

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  8. Kaif Tamam? Whallai everything u said is almost true. Anyway I will invite you for coffee "you pay", and I will show up two hours earlier "maybe". to tell me stories about Sudan "definitely will not be bored" Whallai.
    P.S No shoulder Whacking I prefer Huggging.
    Seriously liked. :)

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    1. Kullu tamam :) Whallaiiii, it's a deal then. It's been awhile since I had to actually pay for a coffee anyway :) Cheers for reading and the nice comment!

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  9. I would say some old words stolen and reshaped to bring delighted feeling!

    This guarantees u r 100% Sudanized now!!

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  10. You hit the spot on every point. I'm Sudanese and I notice the same when I'm abroad. The bad news its addictive you can't give them up now ... you're stuck with us now: True Sudanese "Sudaniya Aslyiah", here are a couple more you may feel on the next level:
    - Total strangers freak out when you start direct conversations with them.
    - People staring when you salute a Sudanese you never knew before. Myth says :"we all know each other".
    - Taxi drivers always ask you to sit in the back (not next to them).
    - Can't stand cold for too long (miss the sun being 100m above your head).
    - Get irritated from standing on a straight queue.
    - Feel tempted to mix up the whole meal in one big bowl.

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  11. I was literally ROFL.. you said it all.. you should get Sudanese nationality.. God bless you

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  12. LOL.. I shared your blog link with some of my coworkers so they understand why I sometimes tend to shake their hands when i come in or about to leave he office :)))) very true observation.. made me miss home :(

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  13. That's so Sudanese how long u stayed in Sudan?? if u pass by again am inviting u to the advance level :)

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  14. "You constantly laugh out loud at your own jokes and then attempt to shake people's hands afterwards" yup... that was me right there LOL
    I sent this blog to some of my coworkers and they are now fully understand some of my weird behaviors LOL

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  15. Ya zola everything you said is true!! lool.. Now you're officially Sudaneya.

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  16. OMG!!! All is so true!!! Thanks for the great piece!

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  17. Tamam? Alhamdulillah! I am missing my Sudanese friends! Sudan changed me in the way that I stop wearing revealing/sexy clothes! Lahaulillah! :)

    this is a funny blog!

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